You have to wonder? NBC always has had censors. Especially around Christmas time...let me consult my sources and find out what happened...
 

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your comments about the closed captions are really interesting.

i actually watched it with the closed captions on too, but there was so much going on that I focused on the animation, not the captions. my tivo recently broke, so i could not re-watch the skit, but if i had, i think i would have come acorss the same discovery.

a lot of times i notice discrepancies between what they are saying and what the captions read. i always thought it was the caption person misunderstanding the person talking. i did not think they had advanced access to the scripts.

i wonder what the back story is. look forward to "Esther's" input.
 

I work at NBC and the script never had this line in it. The script that was submitted had the identical lyrics that were sung by Darlene Love.
 

I work at NBC, and the sketch in question never had the lyric shown in the picture. The scipt submitted had lyrics identical to what Darlene Love sang.
 

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Begging the question then: Why was this in the closed captions?
 

You have to understand how Closed Captioning works.

The Closed Captioner does not have a script. Instead, they listen to the show and type in what they hear, often making mistakes. (And I'm not talking about a live show like SNL, I mean on all recorded shows too.)

Another mistake in the Closed Captioning is that it said and drink their "Swedish wine." Swedish wine?? Swedish? Since when do Jews drink Swedish wine?

It was supposed to be "sweet ass." So it's just another example of the closed captioner getting the lyrics wrong.

No anti-semitic conspiracy here. Move along.
 

Not all captioning is done in real time.

Captioning Faqs

Apparently there are both offline and online captions with some captions being done on a planned basis.
 

i guess this incident says more about the stenocaptioner than anything else.
 

It's an interesting change. Regardless I thought it was a mighty catchy song. I'm still humming it today!
 

just re-watched the video. i noticed that when she sings "and the three wise men, that’s a big old snooze" and the crowd "reworks" the nativity scene, they create the cast of seinfeld!

a small but interesting detail.
 

For those people who are looking for the lyrics, here's what I've put together. Brackets indicate my uncertainties, so help out if you can.

Christmastime for the Jews

by Robert Smigel, Matt O’Brien, Eric Drysdale, Julie Klausner


On Christmas eve the Gentiles gather ‘round the Christmas tree.
They stay at home and party with their goyishe family.
They disappear one day each year and pass the eggnog ‘round,
but it’s all right, ‘cause that’s the night the Jews control the town.

Well it happens every year on Christmas eve.
All the happy Christian people take their leave.
Yeah, the streets are deserted and there’s big news:
It’s Christmastime for the Jews.

Yeah, the Holiday party starts ‘bout 6 PM.
Ain’t nobody recreated [???]
Yeah, the three wise men, that’s a big old snooze.
Christmastime for the Jews.

They can finally see King Kong without waiting in line.
They can eat in Chinatown and drink their sweet-ass wine.
They can crank Barbara Streisand on the streets they cruise.
Christmastime for the Jews.

They can gang up on the Quakers, play for the Lakers,
[they can do what they wanna, be the soul of Madonna.]
Get a chance to drive a tractor, win on Fear Factor,
See Fiddler on the Roof with actual Jewish actors…

Now they really get the party going after dark,
Circumcising grateful squirrels in the city park,
Picking fights in the bars, knowing they can’t lose.
Christmastime for the Jews.

Now it’s nearly 10:30. Yes, it’s time for bed,
Daily Show reruns dancing in their heads.
Maybe next year they’ll learn how to hold their booze.
Christmastime for the Jews.
[???]
Christmastime for the Jews.
Don’t get sick now.
Christmastime for the Jews.
[???]
 

The first missing line is

"Aint nobody recreating Bethlehem."

The captioning is just awful. Tons of mistakes. It was obviously captioned by someone who has never met a Jew in their entire life.
 

"..streets are deserted and that's big news..."
"...they can do what they wanna, even blow off Madonna..."
"...have some water...don't get sick now...sleep it off, yeah..."

My tv doesn't have closed captions. What I want to know is, were the lyics at least lined up to the right images? Because I can't understand how the line about "yank up all the prices" sounded at all like anything in the song.
 

And of course the online video isn't captioned. Where did you see it on TV? There have been many times when a captioned word or phrase is not the one said by the actor. Recently, a TV character said he had been in New Orleans (according to the captions)... out of respect for the city, the words were changed to another city. But it was too late for the captions.
 

I think the Madonna line is "They can do what they wanna, even blow off Madonna." That matches the animation.

This is my new all-time favorite Christmas song. Props to Darlene Love!
 

it's "they can do what they wanna, even blow off Madonna"
at the end, it's "Have some water"
and "Sleep it off, yeah" in between the choruses...
 

Meryl,

I DVR'ed the original broadcast on NBC 30 in Hartford, CT.
 

I think the line is "sweetest wine" not "sweet-ass" wine.
 

comedian, if you still have it on dvr, what about that question?

"What I want to know is, were the (botched) lyrics at least lined up to the right images? Because I can't understand how the line about "yank up all the prices" sounded at all like anything in the song."
 

"They can do what they wanna, even Vogue Madonna". That's the hand motion they're doing in her face at that moment.

The captions are also lacking the credits song, to the tune of "I had a little dreidel":

[Something inaudible]
I made it out of clay
And when it's dry and ready
TV Funhouse I will play

It seems familiar enough that I think I'm remembering that this is not the first Smigel claymation Christmas film, but I could be making that up.
 

I think the "grateful squirrels" line is milk-shooting-out-nose funny. HA!
 

The Simpsons used to average one different joke punchline per episode in the close captioning - definitely not a mis-heard error, but something entirely different from what was said. I vaguely remember Moe saying something about the Bush daughters that was much funnier than the spoken line.