This just in from my old boss, a citizen of Sri Lanka who lives in the US 4 to 5 months each year, spending the balance of his time in Sri Lanka.

He is usually very upbeat and energetic, and the fact that he thinks the situation in Sri Lanka is so bad that it might not be recovered from in the near to medium future I take as very bad news indeed.

Thank you [Real name deleted] for writing with your well wishes.

It is good to hear from you. We were in Colombo about 50 miles from where the damage started... and then along the coast.

We just toured some of the affected areas. It is bad. I plan to be involved in helping affected people in the coming months / years. This country just can not recover from something like this.. regardless of the help we get.

We personally are doing well. [Private information on his children deleted.]

Pimp My Ride auto customizer fined

West Coast Customs, Inglewood, Calif., and Unique Autosports, Uniondale, N.Y., paid a combined $21,000 for illegally replacing drivers' side air bags with video monitors in the steering wheel.

Big Dane, you officially been pimp-slapped.

 
Keep counting those votes until we win!

 
My brother-in-law emailed this photo of his neighbor's (rearranged by persons unknown) reindeer display.

Legalizing 'noodling'

Next summer, it will be legal to plunge into some Missouri rivers and grab catfish by hand - a type of fishing that is not for the faint of heart.

Known variously as noodling or hogging, handfishing has long been a misdemeanor punishable by fines, because state officials fear it depletes breeding-age catfish. It can also be dangerous: Noodlers hold their breath for long periods under water and sometimes come up with fistfuls of agitated snakes or snapping turtles instead of fish.

Volkswagen just launched an expanded version of its Volkswagen Bank USA, offering more now than just loans.

Welcome to Volkswagen Bank

It started out as a pretty simple idea: Let’s help people get more out of life. Our first solution involved cars with air-cooled engines. (Remember that one?) These days, we’re branching out — offering inventive, modern answers to life’s financial hurdles. Volkswagen Bank USA is designed to provide all kinds of financial solutions for intrepid car buyers, committed savers or anyone looking for a distinct online banking experience.

Too bad its interest rate on deposits (of all kinds) are so stinking low. They might be able to beat the bank down the street, but they're nowhere near competitive with the likes of ING Direct & Etradebank.

I just don't see online banking as a lifestyle choice making the grade, but I've been wrong about a lot of products' ability to find suckerscustomers. For deposit banking, a slick online interface, nice colors & the feeling that you are dealing with a cool company shouldn't beat out higher rates, lower fees and a proven track record.

But since there's one born every minute I'll probably be wrong about the success potential of VW Bank.

 
[From an ebay page explaining how feedback numbers are computed.] 

OK, I sort of get it that this icon means a positive because it looks like a nun, and this one for negative is some sort of bad girl, what with her hair up, sinfully showing off her entire (invisible) neck.

Women are all very single minded in the ebay feedback world -- Either positive, neutral, or simply negative.

Does ebay find women so simplistic that they can be easily classified -- Good, bad or indifferent?

All the icons for complicated and multilayered trading histories have a decidedly male appearance.

Does ebay fear offending more sensitive users by portraying female icons as having a mixed trading history, some in less than a holy fashion, perhaps calling into question the real sanctity of a female icon?

On a more quizzical note, why the heck does "guy with tie" equal a net plus one, while guy with V-Neck equates to a net negative one? I sort of get that basketball guy is doing some dribble two balls at once thing, but I totally don't get karate guy's meaning. Maybe its the whole "fist in hand" thing that is part of a pre-match bow...

Maybe I'm reading too much into a poorly designed webpage, but I'm sure the designer had something in mind when the icons were made, I just have no idea what that may have been.

Or, the things simply might just be what they seem.

Then there is the other secret. There isn't and symbolysm [sic]. The sea is the sea. The old man is the old man. The boy is a boy and the fish is a fish. The sharks are all sharks no better and no worse. All the symbolism that people say is shit. What goes beyond is what you see beyond when you know.
-- Ernest Hemingway on his book The Old Man and the Sea.

Which is sometimes shortened to:

The old man is the old man. The sea is the sea. The rest is bullshit.

[All images cribbed from this page.]

 
Ebay sellers sure have one warped view of what constitutes the "perfect christmas present."

• SET OF 10 ITALIAN THONGS. perfect christmas present
• Saab : 9-5 Turbo 99 Saab 9-5 Turbo The Perfect Christmas Present!
• Pacers v Pistons tickets - Perfect Christmas Present
• UNIQUE ZIRCON RING: A PERFECT CHRISTMAS PRESENT
• Diesel Guard perfect Christmas Xmas present diesel

 
Stuart Buck chronicles some delightful hypocrisy from those who know better than we do what needs to be done.

Just not to them.

 
Guess from an employee of which tolerant organization this delightful phone message issued forth.

'You're evil, horrible people. You're awful people,' she said, identifying herself only as 'Rachel.' 'You represent horrible ideas. God hates you and He wants to kill your children. You should all burn.'

Though I don't recommend it, this is certainly one way to deal with a deadbeat tenant.

The increasingly inaccurately named "Daily Probe" still produces fantastic satire, when it bothers to produce anything at all. For example:

Assault Weapons to be Distributed in Schools

WASHINGTON (DPI) - Congress voted to require public school health clinics to distribute semi-automatic assault weapons to any student who requests one. Explained GOP Majority Leader Tom DeLay, 'Students should be entitled to practice safe citizenship. This requires that they bear arms and be prepared to defend themselves against Al Qaeda, the British, or any evildoers in their area.' The controversial measure allows the students to obtain the firearms without the knowledge or consent of their parents. Said DeLay, 'Many teenagers are uncomfortable asking their parents for weaponry.'

(Reported by Slick Sharkey)

Though sometimes they sacrifice accuracy in the pursuit of a good story

CORRECTION

The Daily Probe reported recently that Sir Elton John's monthly florist bill exceeds $40,000. The entertainer's attorney kindly pointed out that the actual figure is slightly lower. Nevertheless, John is a pampered fuckwit whose egotism knows no bounds and whose artistry evaporated around the same time his hair did.

We apologize for the error.

(Reported by Tristan Fabriani)

 
Wow, I thought my Review of the Mercury Montego was harsh, then I read Dan Neil's certified dishing of the Montego. Here's some highlights of his:

At a time of general excellence in automotive design and construction, when even cheap cars so easily vault buyer expectations, it is a rare and perverse pleasure to find a car as certifiably doggy as the Mercury Montego.

A car whose lack of charisma is so dense no light can escape its surface, the Montego is the Mercury Division's upscale twin to the Ford Five Hundred sedan, though the Montego's version of upscale is of the Korean off-shore casino variety. The faux wood-grain interior trim looks like it came off a prison lunch tray. I've felt better leather upholstery on footballs.

But this is not a case of a car nibbled to death by details. Overall, the car has a profoundly geriatric feeling about it, like it was built with a swollen prostate. To drive this car is to feel the icy hand of death upon you, or at least the icy hand of Hertz, because it simply screams rental.

On paper, the Montego has much to recommend it, which would be fine if cars were made of paper. A large four-door, five-seat car — cut generously in the seat, you might say — the Montego has an enormous 21-cubic-foot trunk. So right there it has cornered the traveling-carpet-salesman market.

 
Well said.

I think the bad guys need to have something happen to them for a change, instead of always have some innocent person die.

 
Sometimes I wish I had this much energy, but I don't think I'd like to let things like junk mail bother me so much that I feel compelled to take these sorts of steps.

Making junk mail illegal.

 
Courtesy TubaBoy, a shot from the ice at this year's Tuba Christmas in Rockefeller Center.

Related: TUBA shirts and merchandise.

Ex-husband Paid $20,000 To Support Nonexistent Daughter

On the surface, Steve Barreras looked like another deadbeat dad.

He'd been hauled into court and had his wages garnisheed. He and his new wife had lost their 2003 tax refund to pay child support. He had been peppered with threats and demands for money for a child he supposedly fathered five year ago.

But this legal case had one big problem. Last week, a judge ruled the child does not exist— even though Barreras had already paid $20,000 in support.

In what was apparently an elaborate ruse, the alleged mother orchestrated fake DNA evidence and forged a Social Security number and birth and baptismal certificates, court records show.

The DNA test was faked by getting a sample of the couple's 22 year old daughter. The existence of the child was faked by the ex-wife bringing someone else's daughter into court. "How Trevino was able to get a baptismal certificate, a Social Security number and Medicaid coverage for the alleged child is unknown."

Original here:here[Registration Required], more here, and a press release from KRightsRadio about this is here.

KRightsRadio believes this child support case for a nonexistent child may be an egregious example of an overzealous child support agency who apparently ignored the alleged fathers' repeated cries over the past 5 years that there was no child for whom he was ordered to pay child support.

Via Fark

Man's second wedding raided to pay back child support

An Israeli man who refused to provide child support to his ex-wife for nearly eight years finally had to start paying up when he remarried and police raided the reception to seize wedding gifts.
...
With 198,000 shekels owed to her, his ex-wife finally tracked him down when a relative passed on a copy of a wedding invitation for his second marriage this week.

Police and bailiffs allowed the newlyweds to celebrate before confronting the groom and confiscating the wedding hall's safe in which guests had deposited cash and cheques, a tradition for Israeli nuptials.

Police decided not to arrest the stunned groom, but that was of little consolation to his distraught bride, who fainted as her wedding turned into a nightmare.

Heh heh.

On eBaymotors this week:

• An "eXtra crispy" Lamborghini Diablo
• Well, I guess this is a likely appealing way to sell this sort of car. More from this seller.
• An armored Mercedes Benz S500.

It doesn't get much more evil than this... OK, it does, but this is still beyond lame.

City Hawks Evicted From Fifth Avenue Nest
"On summer weekends, crowds of tourists, schoolchildren and others have gathered at the Central Park boat pond to observe the urban hawks through binoculars and a giant telephoto camera owned by bird hobbyist Lincoln Karim...
"The hawks will come back and find the nest is gone," said Karim, also near tears. "How could these people do this?"

I am one of thousands of people that have stopped to talk to Lincoln and learn about the Hawks (as well as falcons, etc, he know tons once you get him talking). It was very sad to see him near tears on TV last night.

It is depressing how self centered humans can be. Some of the wealthiest people in the city destroying a bird's nest because they don't want you looking at their building. Come on, they have the bucks for some mirrored windows.

Hopefully Pale Male will move over a few blocks to my hood, where the people are way cooler and don't have stuff stuck up their backsides.

Shared post-it note: FCB Free Car Brochures, a compendium of scanned car brochures.

I've got to contributes some stuff to this site.

SSangyong? Ssangyong Motors? An auto maker with a google pagerank of 3? What's up with that?

 
Looking for Vredestein automobile tires in the US? Euro-Tire, located in Fairfield, NJ, does mail order, has great prices, fair delivery & are nice to deal with on the phone. A few months back I picked up 4 Wintrac's from them when I couldn't find a Vredestein dealer within 50 miles of my home.

Now all I need is some more snow to justify my purchase of H-Rated snow tires... .

 
On rocket motors & other big media lies.

 
A totally disturbing product I spotted on a trip to Wal*Mart today. So far as I could tell these were sized for children...
 

[Not photoshopped.]

 
Quick follow up to my posts about ebaymotors: Beware Of Flood Cars

This weeks ebaymotors fun finds:

• An Acura NSX that has an obliterated VIN, is probably stolen, but unable to be traced.
   
• Remind me not to bid on any cars offered by Steve Philips of Monticello, Kentucky.
   
• An International Travelall likely inspiration for The Canyonero