FBI seeks 'net ban on helicopter crash video

The unedited video of an Air Force Reserve helicopter crashing while attempting to rescue climbers on Oregon's Mount Hood is back online.

An Internet hosting company in Seattle, which the FBI threatened last night with federal obscenity charges, said this morning that it would resume distribution of the horrific 45-second video. Though no one died during the helicopter accident, three of the climbers being rescued died after falling into a deep crevasse. The crash and following 1000 foot roll down the mountain of the helicopter was captured on video from a civilian helicopter covering the rescue.

"Initially I thought the emails and the message left on my answering machine were just my brother playing a practical joke (on me)," said Fakir Notreal, owner and operator of ShockingVideo, a website that specializes in hosting unedited video of graphic real life situations. "First that whole flap over the 'Daniel Pearl' video last week, and now this. I just don't understand how this fits the FBI's new mission, though it seems creepy to me that it would presume to have the power to decide what people are allowed to view on the internet."

FBI spokesman Agent Christopher Braga declined to comment for this story.Yes, this is satire.Yes, I am going to burn in hell for this.Yes, it is awful to make light of a situation like this.

Here's a link to the scathing letter sent to the Newberry Library instructing it to remove NEH's name from their grant to failed Professor Michael Bellesiles.

We have examined closely the chronology of the Newberry’s decision to award a fellowship to Professor Bellsiles and the published debate over his book, Arming America. Contrary to your assertion that “this fellowship was awarded prior to the existence of any scholarly controversy relating to Professor Bellesiles’ work,” we found that numerous scholars had raised serious questions about the quality, indeed the veracity, of Professor Bellesiles’ findings well before the Newberry awarded him an NEH-supported fellowship on February 21, 2001.

Let me see if I got this straight: The D.C. Alcoholic Beverage Control Board just ordered a N.E. convenience store to not sell bottles that are too small, and to not sell bottles that are too big.

Convenience Mart is prohibited from selling the following items: single containers of beer or malt liquor; single wine containers containing less than 750 milliliters; malt liquor in packaging with containers of more than 24 ounces...

Who runs this board, Goldilocks? Why is it not OK for this store to sell affordable alcohol? Is the board trying to control the store, or its patrons?

Growing up close to the Canadian-US border I remember hearing stories about how much cheaper cars were in Canada, and how enterprising people would travel north to get good deals. It would seem that people now do this so much that at least one manufacturer considers it a problem:

David Pierce, dealer principal of the Pierce’s Superstores mall in Great Falls, Mont., said he won’t stop selling Canadian cars if the warranty ban is the only action Chrysler takes. “This won’t stop the problem. There is too much of a price difference to ignore,” he said. Pierce said a loaded Dodge Grand Caravan Sport that has a sticker price of $28,600 in the United States is priced at $18,700 (U.S) in Canada.

“I retail these minivans for a 5 to 10 percent markup. Even paying for a $1,000 aftermarket warranty, I still make money on them,” Pierce said.

Arbitrage rocks.

Time for The Comedian to be serious. I just came across this story from a chat hosted by USA Today just over a year ago and I thought it was kind of telling:

Lexington, KY: What type of "proactive" steps are taken by the FBI to
identify threats and address them prior to a major incident?


Supervisory Special Agent Calvin Shivers: As previously mentioned, the FBI works closely with state, local, and other federal agencies in identifying possible domestic terrorism threats. Also, the FBI relies on information provided by the general public.

Washington, D.C.: How does the FBI's role overlap with other govt agencies? ATF, CIA, etc

Supervisory Special Agent Calvin Shivers: Yes. We work closely with other federal agencies.

Alexandria, VA: How will Louis Freeh's retirement effect your efforts against terrorism? What were his efforts when he was Director?

Supervisory Special Agent Calvin Shivers: Mr. Freeh's retirement will have no effect on the FBI's efforts in investigating and prosecuting
terrorist cases. In fact, Director Freeh has helped to elevate the fight against terrorism as a priority of the FBI.

I don't know why, but this link just makes me laugh.

"Army Turns to Computer Games to Woo Recruits" says the headline, yet another bizarre way our world is starting to look like Ender's world.

Authors against used book sales at Amazon: Revisited

My original post on this matter cynically questioned authors' motivations in protesting Amazons policy of very directly marketing used copies of books on the listings for printing-press-fresh copies. I wonder if this update[I could not find a link for this] to Amazon's Affiliate Program will stem their complaints:

We're extremely happy to announce a change to our Associates Program that we think you're really going to love. Starting today, in addition to paying you referral fees for thousands of Amazon.com products, we will pay you 2.5%* referral fees for third-party sales you send our way. Be it a used book or refurbished DVD player from a Marketplace vendor, a barbecue from Target, or a Star Wars Action Figure from Toys "R" Us, you will now earn referral fees for third-party transactions you direct through your links.

Bumper sticker mentality: "Live Simply, So That Others May Simply Live"

I spotted this one today on a fairly dirty, though late model Dodge Neon, and it got me thinking. Do liberals really believe that if we in the United States lived more simply it would help people?

I believe that the opposite is likely true. Had the U.S. not pushed forward, advancing the frontiers of both leisure time and productivity while providing its people a higher standard of living, we would not have the wealth, technology, ability or desire to help the rest of the world try to reach our levels, or at least to do better than they currently are doing.

In reality this bumper sticker is a faulty mixture of Luddite agrarianism and equality through lowered standards and freedoms. It sets its goals from the outset to merely keep others alive, and offers no better method to reach that goal than to not strive too hard to improve your own lot.

Instead of seeking to make things better than they are, to lift the lives of others, this sloganeering seeks only to keep others alive. How wonderful. </sarcasm>

Would not the lives of others be enhanced further by living a complex live, using the tools of modern life to increase your productivity, thereby rising the tide that lifts all ships?

(I hope that "The Notorious Note Taker" would be proud.)

By way of the SF Chronicle I found this humorous and poetic police blotter from the Arcata Eye. The Chronicle provided the following primer on reading the blotter:

The personalities of these often hapless characters are an integral part of the Eye.

They include Pete the Ragman, the blanket-clad wanderer whose stench sometimes obscures a loving heart, and "Guitar Dan" Stephens, whose ever- present all-weather guitar is "somewhat intonation challenged." There is the Fun Bunch, a gentle group of hoboes who smoke and drink breakfast, lunch and dinner on the railroad tracks.

The transients in town are "travelers," the panhandlers "sidewalk socialites." Most have spent time in the "Pink House," the Eureka County jail, which happens to be painted pink.

Some sample entries from the blotter:

Sunday, April 21 1:59 a.m. Bar closing time, and fists bloomed like five-fingered flowers just south of an historic Plaza storehouse.

Wednesday, April 24 1:01 p.m. In the greenest part of the lower forest, just up the trail from the 14th Street gate, a he and she allegedly broke out their own green – nugs. Things got greener still, when a uniformed park ranger appeared unexpectedly. His ticket book was soon two lighter.

Sunday, November 18 11:19 p.m. A tangled web of intrigue in Valley West included a guy at a pay phone informing what a witness surmised was a girl at the other end of the line that he was going to kill her. "I'll kill you!" he said, slamming the phone down, striking it and sustaining possible hand injuries, then stalking off toward the credit union. Meanwhile, a car was observed "parked kind of odd" behind a liquor store with a woman in the passenger seat. Coincidence, maybe. Lynchian certainly.

Wednesday, November 21 5:55 p.m. A fellow who'd recently and repeatedly put cup to lip positioned himself next to an F Street pet shop and took to yelling and hitting himself. He was trundled off to the tank until the beverages wore off.

Thursday, November 22 5:36 a.m. 6:49 p.m. A woman out walking in the Marsh as night fell encountered a man who rode up on a bike, greeted her and initiated small talk. Perfunctory preliminaries accomplished, he next asked if he could take her to dinner. She declined. He then scaled back the request to having coffee. Another no, and as she walked toward the all-too-distant City lights, Mr. No-Means-Maybe apparently figured he just hadn’t selected the right form of social recreation and pressed his quarry to attend a movie with him. Again she rebuffed his clumsy courtship and asked him to leave her alone. The clod-on-wheels finally got the message and rode off. Making her way to the South I Street parking lot, the woman noticed a dark, four-door hatchback circling, its lonely pilot formulating his next approach. As she walked up I Street towards home, he pulled up alongside and asked her out again, as though a desperate drive-by come-on might be the beginning of something beautiful. "Leave me alone!" she said, and ran way, but he began pulling his car around toward her. She ran. Again he pulled up and told her, "It’s dark out here. You have a long way to go." Frightened, and in an effort to buy time, she humored him with small talk, and he sped off. She soon encountered another man and asked him if he’d accompany her back to town, which he did. Eventually she reached the sanctuary of her home, only to find the Marsh stalker there and waiting, as though he had followed her. Apparently hoping to capitalize on his wealth of accumulated charisma, he introduced himself as "Jeff," and notified her that he was an Aquarius. Reverse-captivated by this sodden singles-bar datum, she called police, who checked the Marsh and environs but only found some other people who were told that the area is closed to the public after dark. Jeff is described as having short black hair, baggy eyes, a dark complexion, wearing dark clothing and probably single.

This is just quick sample of what caught my eye. You owe it to yourself to peruse these reports further.

It must be a slow news day when the dismal sales numbers of a critically acclaimed book gets so much coverage. Jesus, don't the critics get it yet? Don't they realize that what they deem good may not be popular, and what is popular may not be what they like. Just look at the performance of the universally panned Episodes I & ][.

Anyway, the funniest thing I've heard about this book is what Maya Rudolph had to say about it on SNL's Weekend Update, (heavily paraphrased) "Maybe she should write her next book telling single guys our age to get off their ass, stop playing GTA 3 and waiting for the chick from Species to come strolling into their lives. Ain't gonna happen."

On measuring things:

"When you can measure what you are speaking about and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind." -- Lord Kelvin

John Malkovich, who has been in the news lately allegedly saying he would like to shoot Robert Fisk, had this to say in the June 29, 2000 IMDB Celebrity News

Malkovich Wouldn't Mind Executing Criminals Himself

Actor John Malkovich feels very strongly about criminals - he'd be happy to execute them personally. He says he chose to move to the south of France because he disapproves of America's "puritanical" culture and being told how to live. He says, "The left wing want criminals coddled and no-one wants anyone punished. I would have no problem pushing the switch while having dinner. I actually think they should change the name of the death penalty. We're all going to die so it should just be called the early death penalty."

I just saw bit of an interview of Ex-President Carter on MSNBC. Andrea Mitchell asked Carter if he thought lifting the trade embargo with Cuba might be seen as a victory for Castro. Oddly, in his answer, he spoke about how it would not be a victory for Castro over "North America."

North America!?

Mr. Carter, last time I checked the only embargo against Cuba was by The United States of America. Canada does not have an embargo against Cuba, nor does Mexico. I had friends while I was in high school drive up to Montreal, Quebec to catch flights to Cuba. So far as I know none of the Islands of the Caribbean have an embargo against Cuba.

Why, I wonder, did Carter phrase his answer this way? Has he so distanced himself from America now that he can no longer speak about the United States, referring only vaguely to the greater land mass with which the United States are associated?

Timely follow up to the "When life gives you lemon's" thread over on The Volokh Conspiracy. Ruminations offers their quirky look at what to do when life gives you lemons, Part 1 & Part 2. My favorite:

When life gives you lemons, DON'T make lemonade. It's much more fulfilling to freeze them and throw them at life's Porsche when he drives by. That'll teach his lemon-giving ass a lesson. -- (T.C.)

Dutch Christian Democrats Win -- Sometimes things just work out. Any chance the assassin was an agent-provocateur?

Is it just me or does the opening line of this NY Times story sound like a bad cross between a joke and a logic test? You know, something like "A grand-father, three fathers and two sons walk into a bordello ..." For the record, here is the opening line:

A career criminal, a clergyman and a sex offender were arrested for allegedly plotting to kill Gov. Jane Hull and a county sheriff known for his strict treatment of inmates.

By my calculations, done entirely using the "New Math", this could mean that anywhere from one to three suspects were arrested, depending upon how descriptive the reporter was being.

I nominate this jackass judge to next years Injudicious Conduct.

Just because your're paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you.

I was going to start this post with a cliche. Something like "You just can't make stuff like this up!" This is a cliche better suited for use in a world where the obscenely unbelievable is a rarity, or at least a seldom occuring event. Unfortunately nowadays life resists satire. Things have gotten so strange, so often and in so many ways that the cliche should be changed to "You don't need to make stuff like this up." So, on to today's bizarre finding.

A few days ago while driving to work I heard an advertisement on Imus for the Peoples Republic of New Jersey Tax Amnesty Program:.

Sylvester said the Division will launch a public awareness campaign on April 15 that will include radio and print advertising, the distribution of brochures and posters, and a speakers bureau to address civic, community and professional organizations.

The theme of the ad campaign will be the Motown classic, "Nowhere To Run, Nowhere to Hide," originally recorded by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas. The song has been re-recorded for use in the Amnesty advertising.

Now I'm sure some half-wit bureaucrat at the NJ Division of Taxation thought this was cute and clever, but in practice the ad is a bit horrifying. The state comes across as sounding threatening, in the sense that they make it sound like the state will be hunting down those they suspect of underpaying their (ridiculous) tax burden.

The implied threat becomes all the more clear when the ad ends with (not verbatim) "... and if you don't take advantage of Tax Amnesty, you'll be sorry."

Crap like this might play in a communist country, but it has no place in a civilized Constitutional Republic.

USA Today had a flash graphic mapping the Unabumbler's targets. Here is a simplified version.

What, did you expect fine art? He was an industrial design major, not some budding Monet.

Maybe his inspiration did come from the comics after all. The smiley face ties in nicely with "The Comedian" from The Watchmen, and the sort of sick-twisted attempt at using bombs and bodies to create his "art" fits pretty nicely with Jack Nicholson's "The Joker" in Batman.

I am the world's first fully functioning homicidal artist.

and

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile.

It could be a reach, and this punk is a bit young for the references, don't forget though that the goal here will be to find a deep pockets defendant to take responsibility for this sick puppy's actions.

It turns out that idiot boy Unabumbler was looking to make a smiley face of bombs across america, and that was how he was choosing his targets!

In the movie Fight Club, one of the first big acts of vandalism Tyler and his Space Monkeys pull off as part of is putting a big smiley face with flames as features on the side of an office building.

How long until Chuck Palahniuk gets blamed for the Unabumbler's actions?

Or maybe Wal*Mart(Always Mailbox Bombs. Always), or perhaps DC Comics for "The Watchmen" (quis custodiet ispo explode).

I'm sure in the end his parents will wind up trying to place the blame for this on drugs, or music, or drugs & music, or movies, or television, or on the governement, or on drug-smoking government television music monkeys. One way or the other it won't be their fault, of that you can be sure.

Is this image:

1) An eight year olds creation using his new copy of MacPaint?
2) A long lost Frank Lloyd Wright stained-glass window design?
3) The proposed design for an European Union flag?
4) or a Pantone (R) test chart?

Roll mouse over flag for the answer.

[link to flag courtesy beautyofgray.blogspot.com via GHR.]

[Text of Unabumbler's letter to the UW Badger by way of U.S.S. Clueless by way of Steve Gigl. The name "Unabumbler" courtesy of Raoul Ortega:]

Summary:

Sort of a Born Again Christian meets Star Trek meets the purple nike cult meets the Matrix meets marijuana meets "Waiting for the Galactic Bus" meets Hubbard meets Dungeons & Dragons meets Vernon Howell meets NORML meets NO FEAR all wrapped up in Ralph Wiggums with a Barnaby Jones attitude. Okay, I made up the bit about Barnaby Jones.

This kid was a mess.

Too bad he wasn't the kind of mess that commits suicide without bothering anyone else.

Translation of the mail box bomber's message:

"Hey man, I've, like, smoked a lot of pot, and, like, (snort), no no seriously, here's my message:

"Be excellent to one another, man! And, umm, oh yeah, the government limits your freedom, I want to make you see that so I will be, like, blowing up more mailboxes in the coming weeks.

Unless I accidentally kill somebody famous, or something.

LIVE FREE, unless I blow you up.

And, oh yeah, Nirvana RULEZ!"